I don’t have enough time in my day to do everything. Should I go workout or go study? Decision made. I’m playing Mario Kart.
Do you ever have too much to do so you just decide to give up and not do anything? Don’t worry- we’ve all been there. Here are some excuses we’ve devised to get you out of doing anything for the rest of your life.
“I’m sick” Teachers say this at the beginning of every single year: “If your sick, just don’t come to class because you’ll get everyone else sick”. It’s true. One person in my 75-person lecture was coughing like crazy and the next time we met for lecture only 25 people showed up because they were all sick. The easiest way to not go to class is to be sick.
“I forgot” Who cares if it was your only job interview in the last five months? You forgot. It’s fine- we’ve all forgotten something at one point in time. Your would-be-future-employer doesn’t care if you’re on time for your interview anyways. Simply tell them, “oops, I forgot”. The easiest way to not get a second interview is to tell people that you really don’t care how valuable their time is.
“That goes against my New Year’s resolution” This is the mother of all excuses that never fails. Go ahead- tell someone that your New Year’s resolution was to gain 15 lbs. They won’t question you when you eat the entire lasagna that your mom sent you that was supposed to last you a week. (We don’t know anyone who did that)
Next time you’re sitting at home on your throne of lies and don’t want to do any thing, make sure to pull out one of these foolproof excuses and watch your free time multiply.
If you have any other good excuses, please feel free to leave them below. Our social media manager needs some new material.
Flashnotes 